growing pains
These past few days have been quite hard for me emotionally. The news of my good friend getting cancer is slowly sinking in, and it's still painful to deal with. I felt like the world had stopped and I couldn't get myself to do any school work. My brain wouldn't stop thinking about my friend and it was hard falling asleep. I wrote an e-mail to my pastor and told him about the news, and his reply surprised me. He said that I am a "big girl" now and I need to "prepare myself to face this kind of news among my peers". It sounded so depressing, but I guess this is the reality. The news has become my new growing experience. I need to learn how to move on and not to dwell on the news too much emotionally. Instead, I need to acknowledge that yes my friend is sick, but the world doesn't stop for me because I am feeling horrible, and letting my emotions go wild doesn't help the situation. Instead I can choose to be there for her, and offer my encouragement and prayers for her. Even though I feel helpless, I know that the Almighty God is in control. If He doesn't allow it, not one piece of hair will fall from my friend's head. I almost wish that I can be in my friend's place, but I know it's a silly thought, because God has a special plan for her and for me. This news has also helped me put my life into perspective once again. Ever since I moved to Kingston there have been different challenges that led me to a myopic view of my life. This news is a good reminder for me to look higher and further. My problems in life become much smaller when I think of them as something that will help me grow, and something that will prepare me to "press on toward the goal to win the prize which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus".Growth involves pain. Is it worth it to grow? I think it is, when I know why I need to grow. Thus my nickname--the GROWING FLOWER.
posted by Growing Flower @ 3/02/2004 12:26:00 a.m.
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