it's been another while...would you care for some "small talk"?
I have somehow lost the momentum to update this blog. I used to have to pace myself so that I don't overwhelm my friends with information and I don't spend an unreasonable amount of time blogging. However it seems like everything has switched 180 degrees. So much has happened in my life that I would LOVE to share with all of you...but somehow I find blogging dry and impersonal. It may be because I don't even know who came to visit most of the time, and when I am not sure whether people are reading it, I lose my motivation. Being in China without consistent internet access did not help my blogging business either....so anyway, here I am, after such a long time of absence from this bloggie...I am back!Maybe it's the time of the year...but it seems like every time I start settling into a new place from a move, I feel somewhat disconnected. It's a strange feeling: You are not totally disconnected since there is some familiarity around you...but you are not totally connected since you have been away for a while. You feel familiar, yet distant. It's nice to see everyone in my class again after a long summer, but I was not looking forward to the small (polite) talk about "How was your summer?" or "How was your placement?". I find these conversations rather dull at times...because you are repeating yourself for the 100th time, while others feel the exact same way but are too polite to refuse talking to you. And after our descriptions of how our summers went, things are back to normal and you don't end up talking to that person in class very often...just like before.
So what's the point? I am almost tempted to say that these are meaningless conversations. I guess I have my "introverted" side. Sometimes I feel the need to be left alone. But as I ponder about this more, I have come to a conclusion that we as human beings need these "small talks" to function. We need to feel that we are a part of something. We need to be connected. Our lives are influenced by other people's lives and vice versa. In order for two lives to cross path and to have an influence on one another, "small talk" is the first step.
Anyway...I guess I'll stop now...I hope you can vaguely understand what I am trying to say here. Lately I have found that it's hard for me to put thoughts into words. In case you want to know about my China trip, I would LOVE to share with you in person. Here is a picture of me "sleeping on the clouds". I was on top of a famous mountain range in China called Mount Emei.
Here is a glimpse of the lovely students that I have taught...
posted by Growing Flower @ 9/15/2005 12:54:00 a.m.
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