New Year thoughts
Happy New Year!! =)Two more friends are leaving Toronto for Hong Kong in a couple hours. It's always sad to see friends leaving. Half of my fellowship has gone back to Hong Kong, and every time someone leaves I can't help but to sigh. Coming to Canada from Hong Kong was a big adjustment: New environment, new culture, new friends. Now that I have settled down and made my own friends, my friends are leaving (or already left) again. It seems like I constantly have to adjust to the sense of loss. Sometimes I wish that I was made a native Canadian, or a Chinese who doesn't need to move. I used to hate being in the middle: not exactly CBC but not "fobby" enough. It seems like I am always different from everyone else. Well...God made me unique, and He'll use me in a very unique way.
Tonight I played monopoly with a group of friends. I came back home feeling a little annoyed, disappointed and upset. I am annoyed because people were very insensitive about how others felt when they made certain comments; disappointed because people could make such negative comments to achieve their own ends; upset because I had expected more sensitivity from these friends. Even though it was only a game, I didn't feel like we were having "fun". I kept asking myself: Am I taking things too personally? Am I being too "siu hey" (in Chinese terms, meaning easy to get mad)? In the end I figured that it's not worth it for me to get upset over this, but I also reminded myself not to be the person who makes people upset. This will be a reminder for me to be sensitive to others' feelings and also be careful with my tongue.
Hearing about the Asian Tsunami has created some ripples inside me. Life is very fragile, no one knows what will happen tomorrow. These people lost their house and family within a few minutes/seconds...yet I am sitting here in North America typing away comfortably in a very nice house. I feel very blessed, but at the same time I feel helpless. I can't even imagine what it would be like if I am one of the victims or one of the survivors who has lost all his/her family members. I can't imagine...
posted by Growing Flower @ 1/03/2005 01:36:00 a.m.
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